I love posting pics of my kids, my hubby and I and raving about how blessed I am! It is the biggest reason I started this blog. I also love to talk about the miracle of Amy's transformation in our family. One thing I don't love so much? Talking about the wait for Anna.
It breaks my heart. If I avoid talking about it, I don't have to face the emotions or reality of it.
But, it's time.
I told Chris early on in the journey to Anna that I felt in my heart that God was to be glorified in the wait. I didn't know what that would look like, but I held to it.
As I have shared previously, I am a firm believer in specific prayer and fervent prayer. We saw God answer in amazing ways while we waited for Amy. Of course we want Anna home YESTERDAY :) so it made sense to pray fervently for travel soon. Be careful to "hear" my heart here: that has not changed. God made me Anna's momma on December 7 when we were offered her referral. Because God has already knit Anna to my heart, I also long to gather her as one of my "peeps" and love her.
Here is what HAS changed...
I just want God's best. I want His timing. I want His plan. I want His blessing. I want what He wants for me. I see no ill motive in praying for Anna's homecoming - soon. The problem I see now is that I didn't really want His best; I wanted things my way and on my schedule.
Schedule is a funny thing. As I look at the calendar we have planned for the summer, I see that there isn't a convenient time to go to China all summer! And yet - we would drop anything at a moment's notice to hop on that big ol' plane and go get Anna.
So, I will continue to pray that Anna is home with us soon. BUT, I am now praying that God will give me patience in the wait and faith to trust Him - to give it all back to Him. And as far as "God being glorified during the wait for Anna"? When we allow God to grab our attention and re-focus us on Him; THAT brings Him glory!
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