correction/discipline

I have been wanting to write this post for some time, but every time I am thinking about it I am usually at my whit's end with one of my kids and I promise THAT isn't the proper time to write a post about correction/discipline :)

I have spent a LOT of time reflecting on and pondering how I parent each of my four peeps. I think a lot about how I have corrected them or disciplined them and how they have responded to that correction. Amazingly enough (tongue in cheek here): each one is different! LOL!!!

Ohhhhhh, Ashleigh. My poor, first-born guinea pig! Fresh off of the Ezzo's "Growing Kids God's Way", we parented little Ashleigh by the book! Now - don't get me wrong here - I think the Ezzo's have some great points, but I am confident that GKGW isn't the best thing for every child!

And then came Austin... Austin and Ashleigh couldn't have been more different! I could (and still can!) give Austin "the look" and lead him to compliance. He is usually so interested in pleasing me (because he knew I loved him) that the thought of displeasing me affected his behavior. I held him more, let him have more freedom and even *gasp* rocked him to sleep!

So - I thought my "toddler parenting" days were over. The joke was on me!

Enter Amy!

And - a reminder - we "got" Amy as a toddler! No infant time to bond, attach and affirm my love to her; just jump head-first into correcting and shepherding the heart of a strong-willed toddler!

Now, the parenting books we read this time around were QUITE a bit different than the ones we read with the first two. Adoptive parenting books that literally contradicted everything we read the "first time". Fears and anxieties built in my heart that I could actually MESS this one up for life! "No time out; use time in". "No spanking; the child might have been abused and you would only be reinforcing the behavior of the abuser". Holy COW! What's a mom to do?

Cry a lot. And pray. And worry. Then pray some more.

We definately had our struggles in the early months with Amy. We had to establish not only our authority over Amy, but of love OF her at the same time. I can honestly say that it took nearly a year to establish both of those things. It truly takes BOTH - hand in hand - for a child adopted as a toddler to really even RESPOND to correction/discipline.

And then there's Anna.

I can honestly say that I am struggling right now with how best to correct, discipline and shepherd my littlest peep. We do not yet have the relationship necessary for discipline and correction to be effective. She is BEGINNING to see us as the authority, but we have a LONG way to go. And she is also beginning to see how much we love her, but she still is not secure in that love. If she can't trust our love for her yet and she still isn't sure we are the permanent authority for her life, then I am not sure how she can really respond to my discipline/correction.

Remember earlier when I mentioned that Austin was so eager to please me that he responded easily to correction? I should have added that Ashleigh did, too, and that Amy is there now, as well. Because we don't have the history with Anna (yet), she doesn't really care too much about pleasing me. More than that, she isn't concerned that I may not be pleased with her.

Consider for a moment just how awesome the natural attachment and bonding process is for a parent (mother) and an infant. Trust, love, provision and permanence is developed over time as the child has a need and the mother responds to it. The child learns - over time - that "mom" has her best intrest at heart.

I am not sure why it was so important for me to share that. Maybe it's because societal pressure makes me feel the need to apologize for Anna's "rockus" behavior or makes me feel that I *should* be able to "do something about it". I guess this was a great opportunity for me to lay out my heart...

what a Thanksgiving!

I can't even imagine a more blessed Thanksgiving! Our family had the awesome honor of hosting 10 people (plus our 6) on Thursday and it was so much fun!
We had: our six, Jim, Darrel, Gail, Noah, Lily, Yang, Cho, Charles, Mable and Kelley! Our friend, Yang, invited four of her friends to join us! We had fun sharing some of our American Thanksgiving traditions with them (Yang and three friends from Mainland China and one from Malaysia).

 

Before dinner, Ashleigh took Yang and her friends out to jump on the trampoline! They saw it in the backyard and asked if they could play!

 

After dinner we thought a game would be fun! We didn't want to choose a word game, and wouldn't you know - the ONLY non-word game we have is TWISTER!

They also played musical chairs (using a Chinese children's cd I have) and then went and sang karaoke in Ashleigh's room for awhile! We had such a great time and we were SO blessed to be a blessing to our new friends (and our "old" ones - Jim, Darrel, Gail, Noah and Lily!).

Last night (Friday) we bundled up to go out for dinner and I had to get a shot of my little girls in their cute hats! More pictures later - as we are waking up to a blanket of snow on the ground!!!

 

The Blessing

we are blessed to be a blessing...

Thanking the Father for the amazing gift of his Son - Jesus Christ!

(please listen to the song - it reduces me to tears every time! We have a choice...)

Operation Christmas Child!

Oh, I LOVE shoeboxes!
The power of a simple gift!
My peeps and I had the joy of packing up 322 shoebox gifts on Monday at our church! We had some awesome volunteers show up to help (we are SOOO thankful!!!).
It was so cool for me as a Momma to see all four of my kids pitching in to help. Throughout the last several weeks, the two big kids have helped strategize and plan how we can get people excited about packing a shoebox to send to a child in need this Christmas. It has been awesome to see their hearts continue to open up to the peoples of the world and their need for Christ.

 

 

 

 

Fall Fun!!!

 

 

 

 

fall in ALL it's slendor!

Is there ANYTHING more beautiful than trees in the fall?
I don't think so either...

Operation Christmas Child

This is an AWESOME video that shows what ONE PERSON can do to share the love of Christ with 4000 kids! One person. How amazing is that?!

"where are the girls???"

Well, of COURSE they are in the closet "painting their peet"!!!
:)

 

 

 

chillin' in Branson

Chris and the kids gave me a precious gift - of time away with a few girlfriends in Branson last weekend! I have realized in the past 4 months (since Anna came home) that while jumping from 3 to 4 kids was relatively easy, it is pretty stinkin' exhausting! I mentioned to Chris that I think a twice a year "retreat" might be pretty nice and that I was "feeling" one sometime in November.

I took off on Friday morning bright and early (6 am) and picked up my super awesome best friend Joy (who just happens to be my sister in law) and ran thru the Starbucks drive-thru then hopped on the road that led to Branson.

We stopped along the way to pick up Mia's momma (Kim) and got to love on Mia and Mandy (and Nolan, Garrett and Nate a LITTLE bit) before we stuffed our things into the trunk and continued on to Branson.

We hit Tanger Outlets and found a TON of great deals (and some things that weren't such a bargain, but super AWESOME!). We shopped for the better part of 4+ hours and then checked in to our cabin. I think it took us all of 5 minutes to unpack our jammies and change! I called the kids and told them that I was already in my jammies and they wondered what time it was where I was at!!! (same time zone)

We dove into a weekend of homecooked food, junkfood (PB M&M's, Vault Zero and Swedish Fish), scrapbooking, movie watching and fellowship!

Saturday morning Jaelyn's momma (Wendy) joined us and we scrapbooked some more and then went back to shopping! Never enough good deals! I checked quite a few things off our Christmas and Birthday shopping list!

It was such a relaxing time! I got to do a lot of things that I haven't done in a long, long time...

I am so thankful that my family saw the need for a little break and sent me off with their blessing to enjoy it!

a full heart

My heart is SO full.
I have been struggling with how best to put my thoughts together for this post, because I know I will fail miserably...
You know - I have been so incredibly blessed in the past two years to have seen GOD in such an amazing way in the adoptions of my two little girls. I know that I would never have experienced GOD that way I have aside from seeking his heart for the fatherless and also seeking his heart in how to parent an adopted child.
But - WOW -
I have to tell you, I have NEVER seen GOD move in the way I have seen him move in the past two weeks! Judgement House has been the most amazing experience! Obviously - we rejoice in knowing that over 300 people made signifigant life changing decisions after touring Judgement House, but I must add that it is so much more than that! GOD allowed me to see him with eyes wide open to his glory! I have seen the power of prayer and I have seen GOD literally move in a person's heart and bend it toward him - all within two hours!
So now what?
That's where I am at right now. How do I respond? I feel like I am full of questions with no answers. This I know: my heart is full and I know that it is full in order to pour myself out. What does that look like?
I am praying about it...

Passion for the Heart of GOD

I decided this morning to re-read this awesome book - Passion for the Heart of God. It is written by one of the speakers I heard in Perspectives last spring - John Zumwalt.

I will write more later, but my heart is not the same heart I had two weeks ago...

Happy Birthday my precious Anna!

(didn't I just do this a week ago???)

Happy Birthday to my precious Anna!
I am sooooo very, very grateful that GOD the Father chose in his plan for me to be your Momma. I am thankful that he has so much more to teach me about how to be the Momma that you need me to be and I am thankful he has chosen for us to need eachother.

A year ago today I would have never imagined another peep in the henhouse, but now I can't imagine life without her. She is such a bright and happy little girl and I continue to see new glimpses of her personality every day.

So - for you my precious one...

A-attitude. Not always *good* but almost always able to put a smile on my face (or at least in my heart) is the little attitude that Miss Anna came to us with. I think there will always be a little spunk to my littlest one and I am praying that GOD will develop that spunk into a heart completely sold out to Him.

N-nut. Yes, I said "nut". As in - a hard outer shell that is worth breaking through to see what's on the inside. As she allows, we are enjoying the surprises she has stored inside.

N-(again forgive me) eNtertaining. Anna keeps us in stitches and keeps us on our toes! I never know what she is going to do, but it could be sing a song, do a dance, read a story or say "hello" to a stranger (causing an infectious smile!).

A-adorable. I am so thankful that I got a few great pictures of Anna today - pictures that show just HOW adorable she really is! I adore her, Chris adores her and her big siblings adore her. She has a million dollar smile!