reed logan

i just got back from meeting my newest nephew!
reed logan.
he is pretty adorable.

and for anyone that it wondering
:)
no word on our consulate appointment today.
so
we will wait til tomorrow.

*sigh*

:)

6 a.m. update

How can it be only 6 a.m. and I am posting for a second time?!

Joy just called and my nephew is already here! Yay!!!

I don't have a name yet (my nephew Grayson gets to know first!), but I will take the little girls up to meet him this morning!

He was born at 1 something this morning and is 8 lbs 5 oz and is 21" long!

Yay!!!

these poor Chrises

(I am sure I didn't pluralize that correctly... Sorry!)

My hubby Chris. My brother Christopher (called so to help ME keep them straight!).

Joy is having her little boy today (being induced this morning).

While not having a "labor and delivery" of my own - per se - I would say that comparitively I am started to have some pretty intense contractions!

Surely lots of good news to come within the next 24 hours! Hoping both come today - for our beneift and for Joy's :)

Pictures and updates as the day progresses.

Wow.

My nephew will be here sooooo soon!!! Come on little guy - we are all waiting!

happy nappy update :)

Well, it's 1:30 and I believe the girls are down for happy nappy.

Great news! Our travel approval arrived at our agency this morning! Woooooo HOOOOOO!

Here's what we know: we have the best agency ever! They are working hard on our behalf and I am hoping and praying I can share our travel dates with you tomorrow!

Does anyone remember the whirlwind with travel for Amy???

That was pretty crazy.

;)

update

Well, it's Monday morning and apparently the CCAA is closed for the week (?) for a holiday.

It's a good thing that we know that our TA was issued last week and mailed before the holiday!!!

(Getting an email that your TA is on it's way is kinda deflating. You can't really get excited that "it's here!" and yet there is a relief in knowing it's on it's way. I think this is EXACTLY the way God planned it to be all along.)

The agency has a date they plan on requesting for our CA (consulate appointment - I know - aren't you tired of all the initials?!). I am not going to share it yet, because Chris and I are really, really pushing for one that is sooner. Don't get me wrong - this one is actually very good, but we have a few reasons we would love to try and get there sooner... They are:

-the possibility of traveling with another Small World family (that has a child at Abe's orphanage)
-the blessing of being a part of Judgement House this year (the other CA wouldn't allow me to be involved at all)
-not missing Austin or Anna's birthdays (October 25 and November 1)

We are very, very content to sit squarely and perfectly in the center of God's will and plan. BUT - we are at the same time petitioning Him with these requests. It's all in His hands.

We just watched "Facing the Giants" last night. Amazing movie.

Connie, Gail and I are "preparing for rain" (meaning we are all totally prepared to leave at the earliest possible CA) and we know that nothing is impossible with God.

and we know

that in ALL these things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

-Romans 8:28



I should have guessed this week would unfold as it has.



This verse started my Sunday bright and early.

And then was part of my pastor's message a few hours later.



Yesterday morning, we had a wierd and funky little rain shower. Not many clouds in an otherwise blue sky. I took the bigs to school - driving east into the sunrise. As we turned north, we were able to see a beautiful rainbow in the west sky. "Ahhhhh. Isn't God fun?!" I thought to myself. "Rainbows come after the storm. Surely we are at the end of the storm of this season, right?" I was trying to fit this sign into my box of how I wanted things to happen. Happily handing God my "order".


I got an email from our agency yesterday stating that our TA had not been sent yet. In my mind, that just means that the soonest I should expect it to arrive might be Monday. Every day that slips by without TA dashes hope that we will travel in October. I am beginning to wonder about November...



A gift - though. I can relax for a few days.



This morning I was listening to an old cd of mine - "My Utmost for His Highest" - a compilation cd of artists songs inspired by their favorite Oswald Chambers daily reading.



SCC has a song on it called "Sometimes He Comes in the Clouds"



These are the places I was so sure I'd find him

I looked in the pages

and I looked down on my knees

I lifted my eyes in expectation

To see the sun still refusing to shine, But

CHORUS: Sometimes He comes in the clouds

Sometimes His face can not be found

Sometimes the sky is dark and gray

But some things can only be known

And sometimes our faith can only grow

When we can't see

So sometimes he comes in the clouds



Sometimes I see me,

a sailor out on the ocean

So brave and so sure,

as long as the skies are clear

But when the clouds to gather

I watch my faith turn to fear, But...

CHORUS

BRIDGE: Sometimes he comes in the rain

And we question the pain

And wonder why God can seem so far away

But time will show us,

he was right there with us, and

CHORUS



All that to say...

Maybe

the rainbow yesterday wasn't the promise that this is all over (like I assumed - here in my box), but that He will get us through (all of us - including Abraham) this storm -
wind,
waves,
rain
and
all.





Surrender... again.

beautiful

how?
why?



smiles.

thank you, LORD.
your plan.
your power.
your purpose.

waiting for the phone to ring...

will drive a girl crazy!!!

Action Impact Ministries

Ashleigh decided this year to take a break from dance and join a local mime ministry team called AIM - Action Impact Ministries.

Yesterday the team presented at a local festival.
They presented a wonderful mix of patriotic songs and songs that clearly presnt the gospel message.
A few songs they do:
"God Bless the USA", "Dare You to Move" (Switchfoot), "Set Me Free" (Casting Crowns) and "In the Light" (DC Talk)

Their presentation was an hour long and here are just a few pictures...

(Ashleigh is holding the 10 Commandments banner)

Ashleigh did a wonderful job and I am so proud of her committment to this ministry at such a young age.

let them eat cake!!!

Chris came home early yesterday and surprised me with roses.
Funny thing is - I was thinking yesterday morning that it was the kind of day that I could have used a flower delivery - but since we moved to the country, the florists don't deliver :(
A few hours later, he showed up with these beautiful peach colored roses!!! And some Dove dark chocolate :)



The family in Beijing didn't get to see Abe yesterday. I had such a horrible night's sleep - anticipating pics or a report. I finally gave up fighting sleep and rolled out of bed at 4:40 this morning.
When I finally got in the shower (after a productive morning working upstairs), I decided we just needed to eat cake!
I had errands to run tonight and while I was out, I grabbed one of the very little 4x8" cakes from Target.



So - after bathes - I let them eat cake!

I am looking forward to worship tomorrow.
It isn't about me.
But,
I know the Comforter will minister to me.
He already is...

please say a little prayer

There is a family in Beijing right now getting their sweet little girl from Abe's orphanage. They will get her right around 8:30 pm tonight (maybe a little later) our time.
They are going to try and meet Abraham tonight.
Please pray that they can.
That would be such a gift!
They are delivering a photo album to Abe tonight. Pictures of his family...
So.
Before I go to sleep tonight, my son may already know what his momma, daddy, big sisters and big brother look like.

:)

:)
Not much going on here, but for those who are terrible disapointed with the lack of posting
here ya go!

Day 77 came and went without any call from Kathy at our agency. It is silly to have expected it so quickly. I can't explain it without just saying it is hope. Hope that stirs me out of bed in the morning. Hope that keeps me jumping with each ring of the phone. Hope that makes me look in my rear view mirror and imagine his little face sitting there looking back at me. Hope that makes me panic a bit when I think of my weekly outing to Krispy Kreme with the littles - and imagine three of them! Hope that makes me nearly obsess about what he will feel like in my arms. On my hip. Hope that makes my arms ache... because they are empty.

Whatever. I know that this is our third adoption in 2 1/2 years. But it is heartless for anyone to tell me that I should hurt less because I "already have four kids".

Amy came to me with tears in her eyes the other day and said that she "missed Abraham". She climbed into my lap and wept. Then she looked at me and told me she was going to pray. And she did. Something like this: "Dear God, please bring Abraham home NOW. And help me be a good big sister to him and kiss his head and sing to him when he is sad. In Jesus name - Amen" Does it get any more precious than that.

These are the things I am dealing with.

Monday morning I just wept as I considered how blessed I am. I have the most amazing kids in the world and I couldn't ask for anything more.

But I do.

I ask God to bring me one step closer to this amazing little boy in Beijing. An amazing little boy who may not even know what a momma is or that he is getting one.

But please don't think it has been melancholy here this week!

Joy abounds!

Gail and I went on our semi-annual consignment date tonight. It was fun. Poor Gail. Two kids to shop for. She waited for quite some time on this momma of FIVE to finish shopping. And then we went to Chipotle for supper (Chris hates that place, so I don't get to go very often!) and ate on the patio. It was fun to talk. I am a little worried that we talk too much, though. What will we talk about in China for a week if we already know everything about eachother?!

Well - this is what you get sometimes. Tami. Rambling.

I am still hoping that tomorrow will hold exciting news of TA (travel approval)! Even if it doesn't, the littles and I have a breakfast date with Daddy - so that is enough reason to get up and going tomorrow.

love him...

how can i not love that little man?

he left these for me before he left for school...


(on my bathroom window)

(note left next to a picture in the foyer)

i think abe has a pretty great role model to follow after.

wherever we are...

His plan.
His power.
His purpose.

Times tough?
His plan.
His power.
His purpose.

Sun shining?
His plan.
His power.
His purpose.

More than you can bear?
His plan.
His power.
His purpose.

Life blessed and heart full?
His plan.
His power.
His purpose.

Now THAT is what I call "perspective".

"It's easy to make a buck. It's a lot tougher to make a difference." -Tom Brokaw

lazy friday; random thoughts

Ugh.
Rain, rain. Go AWAY!

I really can't remember the last full day of sunshine. A few glimpses peeking through the clouds, but a day full of it? Nope.
Anna went to bed with a fever last night and woke up with a little bit of one this morning.
That -
combined with MORE rain, and I called a "jammie morning" in our house!

I got the big kids out the door to school and then we retreated back to bed and watched cartoons and ate "breakfast in bed" (a.k.a. Apple Jacks and apple juice).


I know which choice is best for me...

...but darn it - coffee just tastes BETTER than water!
(am I the only one who struggles with this choice every morning?!)

I *am* a good mother, though. My girls ate carrots with their cookies for lunch!

(yes - we ate cookies for lunch! In our pajamas! Gotta problem with that?!)

You can't really see very clearly, but we have a little creek that runs on the north side of the house and it feeds into our pond. That creek is rarely even a trickle of water; not the case today!!!


We have had probably 11 or 12 inches of rain - today! I think we have a break right now, but the flash flooding is phenominal! The ground is so saturated that we have several little creeks forming in our yard - running to the pond - because there is no where else for the water to go.

I am feeling really relaxed today - for the first time this week.
Part of the extra work this week was related to extra paperwork required by our government since Chris isn't traveling to China with me. Have I mentioned how annoying it is to me that we have to continue to prove to USCIS that we are fit and capable parents?

We have had the blessing this week of seeing God's provision in surprising ways...
not the way we would have guessed.
He is providing for the expenses of this adoption by reducing the amount of outgo required.
Some orphanages have increased the orphanage donation recently; it appears that Abraham's orphanage has NOT done that yet! Let's just say the savings on that is more than enough for one plane ticket.
Another possible savings will be determined within the next few weeks - but it could also be pretty big.

We have consulted a new specialist regaurding Abraham's eye. She really strongly recommends surgery ASAP. Please be in prayer that we will be able to determine what is best for Abraham's health and attachment and be able to make the best decision for Abe. The big picture of surgery for him involves a consult, the surgery (which is outpatient), staying the night in the city of the hospital, an appt the next morning, a follow up at one week, two weeks and possibly at three weeks. The hosiptal is about a 3 hour drive from our home. Obviously - we need to get him home and have him seen in order to make an informed decision.

We are now waiting on our TA (travel approval). Those have been taking approx 3 weeks from the LOA. That puts us receiving that - possibly at the end of the month.

I think I am going to take Ash out for dinner tonight. Maybe find her some church clothes?
Happy Friday!

Red Letters: Living a Faith That Bleeds

I read an amazing book a few months back and I was reminded that I never really shared it with you. It's a great book by C. Thomas Davis (author of Fields of the Fatherless - another SUPER book!) called Red Letters: Living a Faith That Bleeds.

http://www.cthomasdavis.com/

Immediately, I wanted to say "but don't be scared of the title! It isn't a call to die a martyrs death!", but maybe that isn't entirely true...

Davis doesn't directly say "hey - you should die and bleed for your faith" he DOES challenge the reader to die to self and live as Christ.

The premise behind the title is simply this: if God put on flesh and actually spoke to people, instructing them how to live, wouldn't it be important to pay attention to what he said? Red letters: the words of Christ are in red letters in our Bibles. Living a faith that bleeds: is the faith only skin deep or is there actually something under the surface?

The danger in reading a book like this (as with many books that I tend to gravitate toward) is that the words and ideas leave me disturbed and ruined. How can I read...

that one in THREE South Africans are HIV positive

or

that - that at the age of 32 - I have already outlived the average life expectancy of someone in Zimbabwe?

(stats made all the more real at the time I read them because Jim was IN South Africa and seeing an influx of refugees from Zimbabwe).

This should affect life change. But what does that life change look like?

For some it may mean going to South Africa and being Christ's hands and feet to a mother dying of AIDS while her children watch - helpless to numb their momma's pain - and facing a very uncertain future of their own. For some it means that their budget gets a little tighter as they strive to out-give God and direct more giving to provide shelter to refugees or meals for their children's hungry bellies.

The "problem" I have with reading and digesting a book like Red Letters is that living a normal life is no longer possible. I am SO challenged by the massive problems around me that I feel a need to respond in some very dramatic way. Davis actually addresses that in his book - and here is the truth: if everyone did SOMETHING - just one thing - and was committed to it - we could actually chip away at these insurmountable problems and actually make a difference.

I went to our pastor with some of these stats as I was reading the book. Now - he has seen me respond to crisis' like Hurricane Katrina, the orphan crisis and so on for many years now - so he is kind of "used" to my heart. He has always been very gentle with me, saying things like "God will open and close doors as you pursue his plan" and he has always helped me maintain a solid footing. But in response to my email about all these problems in Africa, he lovingly - but more firmly than ever before - told me:

One word about the other burdens that you sense - AIDS, African life expectancy, etc. - these are real and from God, but not every opportunity is an obligation; not every need is a calling. Not everything that stirs your heart demands your resources. God will call someone to respond to all those needs, but one person/team/church can never do all things good and necessary. Do one thing well; other things as time and availability allow.

So, my challenge to you?

Read this book.

I am responding to the calling on my life right now: ministering to these children in my home and being open to any more that God may bring to our home. My thought right now is this: what if God is calling YOU to respond to the HIV crisis in South Africa or to minister to the people of Zimbabwe? Will you respond? God will accomplish his purpose - with or without you - but are you willing to be obedient and step out in faith? To receive His blessings and be part of his miracle?

Are you willing to live a faith that bleeds?

roller coaster...

Oh, Happy Day!!!
Our LOA came today - day 67 for anyone who is counting.
Amazing.
We are so excited and now busy with things we can finally start working towards.
I promise - the call was the one call I didn't run to answer today. I was on my way up to lay the girls down for happy nappy and I thought "it ISN'T THEM!!!!" and let it go to voicemail.
Well,
it was them!
October travel is still possible, but not guaranteed.
Hang on baby! Momma's coming to BE!JING to bring you home!!!!
(yup - my baby heard those fireworks LOUD and clear for two weeks straight!)
And,
he was Amy's 3rd birthday present and she didn't even know it yet!
And,
His name will be Abraham Caleb-Shunwei. Incorporating a little bit of his Chinese name. Shun means "to follow; obey" and Wei means "great". Can you imagine a more fitting American name to go with that?! His surname means "tribe". Wow.
Thanks everyone.
I got some work to do!

thank you :)

Oh, dear.
I just didn't mean to be such a downer. Did I mention that rain that went on and on and on for maybe 50 hours here? Why is it that a sad mood is amplified by cloudy skies?

I had some fabulous medicine for the soul tonight: community life group with adoptive and foster families. They just know what it is like to wait. It was good. And we laughed. I laughed. I needed that. And I needed my hubby to put his arms around me and tell me he loves me.

It's a new week. God can do anything - including hold my aching heart while I wait...

if

you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

i am beginning to consider a vow of silence.

my heart is aching; sick even.

it is affecting everything and everyone in my life.

i can't say anything nice. or encouraging. or uplifting.

thus - silence.

my guess is that my family wishes i would be silent. and then - i wish i had been.

i bawled and sobbed uncontrolably in church this morning. where is my joy? i feel like the enemy has swooped down and snatched every last drop.

i have a lot of email in my inbox. if you have asked for prayer - i have prayed. please know that.

i fear becomming a broken record. same sad song - third verse.

oh, lord... hear my cry...

proverbs 13:12

hope
deferred
makes the heart sick,
but
a
longing
fulfilled
is a tree of life.

warning: I am about to go all "political"... kinda.

Ok.
So here's the deal.
First - I moderate my comments and the joy of a blog is that I can publish whatever I want to :)

But please at least "listen" to my heart on this one...
I am not a political junkie. That is my hubby.

But here is what I see...
I see a presidential candidate who adopted a cleft affected daughter from Bangladesh.
I see a veep pick that "looks" a little more like me than any other candidate - ever.

I know that McCain has some serious sin in his past; but I will not cast the first stone. I know that Palin has some "stuff" in her family, but good grief - we are NOT responsible for the decisions of others.

All I know is that I am brought to tears every time I listen to her talk. I am not overly political, but I can relate to this mom of 5 with a special needs child (we have three by choice). I can say with certainty that I could not relate at ALL with some *other* female candidates in recent memory...

I guess that's all I have to say. Today. I am very excited about Mrs. Palin. Wow. I would LOVE to absentee vote for her and McCain on November 4.

(Gail and Connie - you really should look into that possibility...)

for the love of BOYS!!!

This picture was taken at Christmastime when we were visiting Adam and Laura's family. It isn't a great picture, but it's a picture of all of all the grandkids in our family. As of Christmas last year.

Shortly after Christmas this year, there will be three more - one in each family.

All boys!

Chris and Joy are adding a third son very soon (due in less than three weeks!).

We are adding Abraham as soon as we get that travel approval (oh, LORD, please soon!).

And we just found out that Adam and Laura are adding their 2nd son (5th child) right at the first of 2009.

Exciting stuff!

So, from oldest to youngest... (age at Christmas)

Ashleigh (12), Austin (10), Joshua (4), Amy (4), Grayson (3), Abigail (3), Anna (3), Tate (2), Esther (2), Abraham (1), Hannah (1), baby B (2 months?), baby D (days old).

anyone else?

Ok.
So, we went to "the big city" this morning.
Coming home, Anna almost fell asleep. Not completely, but the eyes were heavy.
I let them "get the wiggles out" when we got home.
Laid them down for happy nappy.
Then they sang.
Clapped.
Talked.
Anything but sleep.
Amy finally fell asleep.
Anna - one HOUR later...
Still awake.
Ugh.
Four kids.
Four little ones that even get NEAR falling asleep in the car and they are not napping.
Abe?
Please be the baby that will fall asleep in the car and then get moved to bed and still stay sleeping.
Please?

A random aside...
Remember that scene in one of the Sister Act movies when the teenage girl that sings REALLY good (I think she is really famous now) sings "O Happy Day"? I put in my request this morning with Kathy at our agency. When our LOA comes, she will call me singing "O Happy Day" just like that girl (who I KNOW is famous...), except she will sing "O happy day. Your LOA!!!"
Silly.
I know.
You gotta know Kathy, though.
She serenaded me when Anna's LOA came.
And then called me in the middle of the night when TA came.
:)
Gotta love an adoptive mom turn agency rep that really *gets* how important this is to a client.
Love you, Kathy!

a little more info...

A few things...

This piece of paper. It's basically a piece of paper that says that USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) thinks we will be good parents. Don't get me started on that one... This form - the I-171H will be forwarded to Guangzhou to the US Consulate. After we have adopted Abe, we will fly to Guangzhou (that's a big hint to where he is NOT living right now) and present our adoption paperwork. Then the US Consulate will issue his immigration visa based on this piece of paper.

Our problem - in a nutshell - was time. We actually had an approved I-171H for Anna's adoption that expired tomorrow that was approved to adopt two children. There is a really, really long and crazy story behind it all and maybe if you really want to know, you can call me ;)

We waited for 10 1/2 weeks for this silly thing. I know that a LOT of people are waiting a long time right now. My advice? Get your Senator involved. Did you know that casework is actually part of what we pay them for? They ARE your intermediary with the US goverment offices. Pretty good stuff.

I think Wendy asked when day 77 was.

There's a story.

When we adopted Amy, special needs adoptions were a little less complicated. We got a call with our TA (travel approval) and that was our "nod" to go get her. That call came on day 77. When we adopted Anna, things were a little more complex. We got a call with the LOA (Letter of Acceptance) and then a few to 3 weeks later came the TA. Our LOA call came on day 77 for Anna.

So. Day 77 for Abraham is September 18.

Maybe it won't take that long?

He is 18 months today.

Amy is 4 1/2 today.

There's another new piece of info for you.

:)

Four of my peeps are safe and sound in their beds. One peep is safe and sound in the arms of Jesus - in his bed a half a world away. I am longing for him to be safe and sound - still in the arms of Jesus - but in his bed upstairs.