I have asked myself several times today "why is this affecting you like this?" It's not like we are friends with the Chapman family. We did almost name Anna "Anna Chapman" because we needed a "c" name that had meaning. And it really does...

We cannot tell our adoption story without sharing the Chapman's adoption story. God put China in our hearts directly through Steven Curtis and Mary Beth Chapmans' story. I read that story in my dentist's office in January of 2004.

We got to meet SCC in 2005 after a concert and briefly shared with him our dream of adopting a little girl because of his story. We were still 9 months from being DTC for Amy, but we had him autograph a few very special things to "Amy Carmichael".



We have supported the mission of funding adoption through the Stevey Joy Club (thru Shoahannah's Hope) for years now. We love getting the updates that once even included a Christmas card with three beautiful Chapman girls on the front - lined up side to side holding big jingle bells - and a wok. "Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Wok" it read.

Anytime SCC has come anywhere close to our home in concert, we go.

I mentioned a few posts back that I talked with Emily Chapman at the Orphan Summit a few weeks back. I shamelessly opened my wallet and shared all my blessings with her and said "without your pestering your parents to adopt, these little ones wouldn't be my children."

Maybe that's it. It's fresh. I just heard her share with joy the story of her sister's adoptions and it was such an intimate and small group, that I really feel like I was "let in" on some pretty special memories.

Anyway. Like I said - we can't tell our story without sharing some of theirs. The evidence of that are the numerous calls and emails I got today from friends and family; concerned about how I was doing.

My heart is so broken. I can't make any sense of it, because there is no sense to be had.

Jim had some pretty amazing thoughts
and I am stretched further than is comfortable with them, but that is what a brother is for, right?

Please continue to pray for the Chapmans.

And for my friends Jody and Andy.