ugly.

Not the house.
Me.
Just ugly.
Whiney, pathetic, ugly.
Yesterday was NOT my most shining day. I managed to salvage some of it, but it was rough. This whole "moving 90% of our stuff" thing just didn't work so well for me. All that "little" stuff just saps the energy out of you. We ended up making more trips than anticipated back to the "old house" - which I think contributed to my emotional meltdown yesterday. I just want closure now and having to trek back out to the house so much has made my heart so conflicted.
I set out yesterday to finish cleaning and moving stuff out while Gail watched my kids in the morning. After 2 1/2 hours, still sooooo much to do. Went home to do yet another fast food lunch and naps, and then an appointment here at the house that was later than planned - setting into motion a later night than planned.
We didn't leave the old house until 10 last night. We finally resorted to strapping the girls into their carseats and putting on a movie for them to keep them from wandering off. After some time, the battery on the van died (lovely!) and we had to get a jump from the neighbor.
I truly *feel* the verse this morning when David (I think) says that "His mercies are new every morning". This IS a new day. This isn't my life. I am feeling about the same level of physical and emotional exhaustion that I feel when we are in China adopting. Such a long two weeks that we simply push through. There truly is no way *around* these times.
Lord - make me stronger...